If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
