u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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