Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
