I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize