end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He shit in the fireplace
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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