Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
