i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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