You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
