Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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