he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
