I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
