Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
