so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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