i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
