Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
