capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I didn't notice because vodka
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
