Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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