You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
