We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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