I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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