You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
