i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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