is your mom at the bar?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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