I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize