i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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