So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
