I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
