Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
