I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize