I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she peed on how many people?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
