Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
