Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
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