They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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