Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
