I cannot find my penis.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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