I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
