The maid of honor just puked.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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