Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
