you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
