I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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