Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
