strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
