Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
