check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize