During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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