You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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