her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
