Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize