the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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