..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
