Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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