Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
