I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
