I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Life is so much better after having sex.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
