Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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