That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
