Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
