Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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